The Triumph Rocket III

The new Triumph Rocket III is ridiculous. Why not sit astride a
rhinosceros? It will provide the same sort of excitement. May even
be quieter too.



Triumph got the name right. This machine does exactly what it
says on the tin. Its 2.3 litre engine will propel you from 0 to
oblivion in seconds.

How do you set about advertising such a monster? If you tell
people anything about its insane power, the killjoys will come after
you with big sticks. Already the advertising code of practice forbids
car-makers from using speed as a selling point. And, on top of
that, there are rumblings in the European parliament about
banning all car advertising entirely. Nasty things that pollute and
kill.

Don’t forget, these are the people who also spend their time issuing
directives about the appropriate curvature of imported bananas.
What E3 Media, Triumph’s agency, have done in commissioning
the film from RubberRepublic is turn to positioning strategy No.
32, the Disarm Through Charm route.

You deflect your critics by poking fun at yourself. If the bike is over
the top then the advertising should be equally silly. It’s a ‘we know
that you know that we know’ sort of tactic. Bikers will get it
immediately and appreciate the irony. The message is cute though
the intentions behind it are anything but.

The film itself is a pastiche, taking the mickey out of countless
corporate videos with the oh so serious voice-over droning on
about how the Rocket is built and tested. But hang on a minute.
What are they doing spooning what looks like jam into the cylinder
heads? And why does every bike need to watch “Blackadder” before
going out onto the test track?

It’s how the engineers at Triumph give the Rocket its character.
English, eccentric and, I should imagine, at 160mph on the
Guildford bypass, fantastic fun.

/Patrick Collister/